Words Cannot Describe

Last night was the most rediculous party, and at it I witnessed the most rediculous things. I saw a sophomore at the Naval Academy, poised to lead our military into the next war, get his ego and self-esteem destroyed by a gorgeous woman with a leather belt (he was found in a closet crying 10 minutes later). I saw... oh man. I'm starting to wonder how much of this party I can really freely describe online. How's this, I'll make a deal with anyone who bothers to read this. If you IM, call, email, or contact me in anyway about the gathering of bored suburbanites last night, I will answer any questions for those who are confused about what the true limits of whipped cream are. And as a bonus, I may even disclose to you the correct way to use Mr. Baggins. Thank you, and goodnight. I must now go pass-out.